I believe the most common piece of advice people receive everyday, especially youth, is to be yourself. This is good advice under one condition, if the person knows who they are. How can I tell you to be yourself, if you do not know who you are? The best thing anyone can do is be true to yourself. In a world where people constantly put on a mask to disguise their true problems and self, I want to deviate from that and help you be you. My mentor, Dave Howell, once said, “The most dangerous man in the world is a man who can look himself in the mirror and tell himself a lie and believe it. If he has no problem lying to himself, he has no problem lying to others; that’s a dangerous man.”
For majority of my life, I thought I was being myself, when in actuality I was conforming to my circumstances or what was cool. When you are true to yourself, you give no room to being a fraud. When you are honest with yourself you can see how to improve. I have seen people accept their circumstances and mold themselves into the image of those exact circumstances. Today, I want to get some truths out to you. I believe that in the journey of discovery, the best route to take is by being true to who you are.
Truth #1: You are not a product of your circumstances; you are product of your decision.
When you were born, the doctor did not say it’s a homeless kid, or a loser, or even a winner. The doctor simply says whether it’s a boy or a girl. No one on this earth was born a loser or failure. We may be born into poverty, with disabilities, or sinners, but we do not have to remain that way. Your circumstances do not define you, how you respond to them defines you. If you are born with nothing, blame your parent; if you die with nothing, blame yourself. There is someone out there who has had it better than you and did not do anything with it. There is also someone out there who had less than you and changed the world. Make a choice that you will only go up!
Truth #2: What you have is enough!
Far too often we have a dream or vision for our life but we say, “ I do not have the resources, staff, or finances to do this.” That’s a lie! Tony Robbins pointed out that people do not lack the resources but the resourcefulness. What if I dropped you off in another state with no money and told you to make it home, what would you do? Take the same example I told you, now add that a loved one only has a few days left to live. You would beg, walk, or do whatever it took to get back home, with the purpose of making it home to that loved one. You will never make it happen until you make it happen. Stop focusing on what you do not have and make what you have enough.
Truth #3: You are more than enough
I work with kids often and one of the questions I hear is, “do I change to make people like me?” No!!!! To become someone you are not is denying who God created you to be. God does not make a mistakes, embrace your uniqueness. The hardest job I ever had in my life was being two people at once, at school I was one way but when I was around family or a different group of friends I was another. It was a tiring lifestyle and I had to stop it. I stopped seeking approval and started believing in me. Look, we are all a work in progress; we all have to work to do within us. Do not deny what makes you, you. People will force you to change and still not like you. Do not compromise who you are for love because those that love you will find the true you enough. As my pastor says, “whatever you compromise to gain, you will ultimately lose.” Be patient with yourself and keep growing. It will all come together, if you trust the process, trust yourself, and trust God. You are made in the Image of Him and God does not make mistakes.
Now here’s what I need you to do help live in the truths mentioned above.
1. When you wake up, before you open your eyes, just say thank you. God did not have to wake you up but He did. Be happy to see another day and even though you may not be where you want to be, at least you have another day to get closer.
2. Write down five choices you need to make to change what is going on around you. Once you write them down, develop action steps to make those choices become your reality. Break them down into small, daily steps and begin today on the choices. Look at them everyday and ask yourself did I get one step closer or further. Your circumstances will remain your circumstances until you change them.
3. Every morning name three things you are grateful for. Do not name the same things everyday. If you cannot find something to be grateful for, take some time and look around for something. By doing this, you will take your mind off the wrong and focus on the right. When you are grateful, you open yourself up to blessings and opportunity.
4. Look in that mirror and tell yourself, “ I am more than enough!” I do not care how crazy you look in the morning. How your breath smell or what you feel like; just tell yourself, “I am more than enough!” You do not have to settle, compromise, or diminish who you are because who YOU are is more than enough.
5. Write down your journey. Keep discovering yourself and keep track of your life. Once you hear something negative about yourself, get it out of your mind. It’s not the truth until you believe it! Be honest with yourself. Don’t be tough on yourself. Most importantly, forgive yourself! Being tough on yourself will not help you find answers. Being honest with yourself will help you stop living a lie and find your true self.
6. Pray. Look, life is crazy but that does not mean you have to let it get to you. Ships do not sink because they are in water; they sink because water gets in the ship. Do not let what you are experiencing get to you, ask God to guide and help you each day. Trust that He is going before you, making a way even when you do not see one.
I believe that when you do these things, you find out more about yourself, therefore you can become more of who you really are. Be blessed this week because you are blessed. Love you. See you next week. Grace and peace!
With love,
Big Bro Mike